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IX

by Blix Byrd

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1.
First please indulge me in my short little thinkpiece: the last time you did something wrong, what shirt were you wearing? Whose drink were you carrying? Those shots went to my head, and my memories have all drained down. My memory for faces never has been so good, but I'm gonna tell you what I know: I know he was famous cause he had the greatest shoes. Let's make this painless, cause you were wrong too. Enough's enough enough I want someone to call my bluff About this peace and peace and love Enough's enough's enough's enough's enough's enough's enough's enough All right, let's start again. Let's get into the thick of it. Go back to the last time you were not so sure: Do you remember what that feeling is? Cause I cannot remember it! Fuck it let's go, I'll put on my on my walking shoes! Enough's enough enough I want someone to call my bluff About this peace and peace and love Enough's enough's enough's enough's enough's enough's enough's enough
2.
If I could take a pill to have at hand your memories, would I? Would I, would I, would I? If I could suddenly understand your hidden maladies, would I? Would I, would I, would I? If I could magically see the writing that you etched in me, Would I? Would I, would I, would I? Cause I think what I do not know can fill a hole with softest cotton so that when I fall inside my softest side won't be forgotten. If I can sit beside you while I write these words and sing this song, should I? Should I, should I, should I? If I can see the pain inside you burning you and know it's wrong should I? Should I, should I, should I? If I can love you through the things I can't abide and hold my tongue, should I? Should I, should I, should I? The moral of the story is, the story is what I've forgotten. And if you make it to the end, you'll find the end is made of cotton. If I decided I would make you pay for what you did to me, could I? Could I, could I, could I? If I wanted only to lie down with you and touch your skin, could I? Could I, could I, could I? If I just walked away and tried to make myself a whole new life, could I? Could I, could I, could I? The needle's eye is threaded, but the thread is simple -- made of cotton. The rich man and the camel ride on backs of turtles, long forgotten.
3.
Mr. Decimal 03:23
Dear Mr. Decimal, I'd like to have a word. Are you so dewey-eyed that you put the book of love right next to the book of joy? Boy, that's some wishful thinking, cause I wrote the book of joy, and it's got less love than freedom in it. That's quite a catalog. Looks like you put some thought in it. Here's something you forgot: thought doesn't have a single god damn thing to do with it. Cause I wrote the book of love. I'm tired of sitting on my ass and coasting on its success. So you see, Mr. Decimal, you and I don't see eye to eye. You've got it all catalogued so the camel just fits through the needle's eye. That's an impressive feat! Feet, don't fail me, feet don't fail me now! I'll keep up with you, Decimal! Cause someone must speak for the poor, the freaks, the cast off beings!
4.
Your hand, my face -- they had a common enough way to relate. My head, your heart -- they said that two things can't occupy the same space. We made mistakes. We said that we two should never part ways. I surrender, I surrender I... This time alone is all the time that I have ever known. But still, we go. And I cannot get to here alone. I surrender, I surrender I... What you watch is what you learn. What you lost is what you earn. What you were is what you are. What you make is what you burn. What you are is what you were. What you watch is what you learn. What you were is what you are. What you lost is what you earn. My senses sort it out. I cannot get to now alone.
5.
Interlude.IX 02:25
6.
If I had a dollar, I'd give it to you, take all the things that money can buy, put my hand in my pocket and I'd walk away. If I had a minute, well I'd sit down with you and I'd pass the time with small talk and excuse myself, and I'd walk away. But every time I see a hairstyle like yours, I think of you! If I had a ticket, I'd beeline for you and I'd Ssend my time on the train making up love songs, and I'd ride to the end of the line while you wait, then ride away. But every time I see a picture of a hairstyle like yours, I think of you!
7.
So you see, Mr. Decimal, you and I don't see eye to eye. You've got it all figured out so the camel just fits through the needle's eye. That's an impressive feat! Feet, don't fail me, feet don't fail me now. I'll keep up with you, Decimal! Cause someone must speak for the poor, the freaks, the cast off beings.
8.
The only rule is knowing what the game is, and I fail on that count most of the time. Falling out of favor with the referees, the crowds, and all the cheeky little players who are waiting for their turn to step in. Favor is a thing that I should curry. I'm smart enough to know that's how it's done. But if you think I've got some noble purpose when I don't curry, well, don't kid yourself. I'm carrying a loaded pistol in my hip pocket. Push, push, push, push, pull. Well, darling, you are coming on pretty strong now. You should be more careful. Don't you know... it's the ones your mother likes who can strike that fatal blow? Leave you lying there, dejected while you watch the snow begin to cover you? I bet you wish you were still waiting. Just now that line is looking pretty good. Cause there in line, at least you were still standing on your own two feet. Not lying on your back and wondering, "Who's gonna kick me while I'm down this time?" Push, push, push, push, pull. That one's taken an unfair advantage. He's turning all the circles into squares. The speaker? Yes, it's loud, but tinny, and that man's voice is cloying. Isn't he the very model of a modern failure in the field? Failure is a thing that I should carry. I'm old enough to know that's how it's done. But if you think I've got some noble purpose when I don't carry, don't kid yourself. I'm carrying a loaded pistol in my hip pocket.
9.
I crawled to the water's edge to meet you, the one who betrayed me. I made a promise to protect you, but who was lined up to protect me? Hold on. Hold tight. I wanna be alone. I made sure you had everything you needed, but I forgot to put aside some for a time when I would need it, so I've got none for this fight. Hold on. Hold tight. I got nothing for you this time. I think I learned that, I think I learned that, I think I learned that excuse from you. We had everything we wanted, but you were not satisfied. I gave you the sun, the moon, the stars and you gave me this hole in my side. Hold on, hold fuckin' tight. I wanna be alone when I die. I think I earned that. I think I earned that. I think I earned that respect from you.

about

IX serves as a tall, intricately-carved shrine to Alison Wilder's songwriting. It combines sparkling synths with menacing guitars, a Texas swagger with an East Coast snarl, earnest singing with robotic voices, and a pop sheen with a deep experimentalism.

The album sees Wilder coping with the difficulty and sublimity of relationships. From the earnest questions of "My Softest Side" ("If I can love you through the things I can't abide and hold my tongue, should I?") to the epic album closer inspired by Mike and Walter's toxic relationship in Breaking Bad ("I made sure you had everything you needed, but I forgot to put aside some for a time when I would need it, so I've got none for this fight."), IX covers a lot of territory. A wide-open, big sky country's worth of territory.

But listening to IX isn't a stroll through a grassy meadow. These songs expect you to pay attention, to climb over the barbed-wire fence and walk with the singer, and to enter a world full of stinging and prickly things that's probably not quite like your own. And as the singer says, it's a world that's got less love than freedom in it.

credits

released April 16, 2023

Written, performed and recorded by Alison Wilder

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Blix Byrd Keene, New Hampshire

Blix Byrd is a multi-instrumentalist, singer and songwriter who crafts bizarre new sonic worlds for each song. Her songs are abstract but narrative-driven, dark but playful, sinister but innocent. She uses a wide variety of instruments, sounds, and styles so that each story lives in its own environment. ... more

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